Hexagram 23

It's been one of those days.

I was in my manager's office this morning, ostensibly to talk about what various pieces of documentation I need to generated "just in case" I end up resigning. She's my backup for a few critical functions, and she wanted to go over them with me at a later date.

Eventually, though, it was just to chat. Even if I don't think she's a perfect manager, she's a great person, and we get along well. So, we talk, a lot, and one topic that has been coming up more and more lately was the possibility of her manager (who neither of us really likes but she can't stand) finding some reason to lay her off. He already tried once, a year ago, but justification was found to keep her on.

She found out yesterday that he and one of the other directors was flying in for a couple of days but hadn't informed her; her immediate suspicion was that this would be the day. As we stood there talking, someone kept walking past her door. Then, her email started having issues. About that time, I noticed the person walking past was the local head of HR, and believing he might need something from us (we manage one of the critical HR systems), I stuck my head out and asked if he needed anything. He said he needed to talk to her, and asked if we were done. He had a sheaf of papers in his hand, and I just got the impression that he was doing his best to be neutral. So, I walked away and went back to my desk.

About 20 minutes later, her manager was in our office telling us she'd been laid off.

Now, I knew she wasn't going to be upset - not just because she expected it, but because, in a way, she'd been looking forward to it: the office has been really stressful lately, especially for her, and I think this was just the push she needed to get out and do something. Rather than quitting under duress, she gets a severence package and unemployment. So, she'll probably be alright a few months at least.

Instead, the thoughts that immediately popped into my mind were: shit. She's my backup on some very important things. I've been planning on leaving the company for a while, but it was always in an orderly, controlled, reasonable manner - because she was still there and could handle the critical stuff. Suddenly, that's out the window.

I don't care about most of the systems I run; they're not terribly complex in concept, just in detail, so pretty much any technical person could deal with it if they had to. The one piece that isn't true for is the HR system, which is extremely critical in that many people get paid out of it. While Doris was there, it wasn't a problem; without her as a backup, though, I'm the only person in the company who can manage the system.

So, I decided I had to "spook" HR a bit about it, somehow. But how, when I can't legitimately say I'm leaving until I have accepted an offer from another company?

This issue stressed me out for a few hours until, around 2:30 pm, her manager came and asked to speak to me. We went to a different office, and he began some long oration on how this was the only layoff planned, on how we needed to better merge the teams on opposite sides of the nation, how everyone was likely to be nervous for a while, etc. At one point, he flat-out said, "And I'd hope that, if you ever consider leaving us, you'll give me fair notice..."

Well, shit. My boss had known - even encouraged - that I was looking around, but I hadn't told anyone in management other than her. I didn't have an offer from anyone yet, even if I was expecting one. But I also couldn't just flat-out lie when I'm planning on handing in my resignation in a matter of days. So, I told a half-truth. I said, "Well, to be honest, right now I'm looking for a new job. I haven't had any offers yet, but that could change at any time." All of it true, with the only omission being that I was *expecting* to get an offer in the next 2 or 3 days.

It was enough, though, and he was obviously contemplative on the concept. His first statement was that he hoped I'd give him a few days at least to try and "make it worth your while to stick around a few months". He did, later, ask me an approximate percentage of what I was expecting in a new position, so I told him (legitimately) 25-30%. "I was afraid of that," was his only response.

As I walked back to my desk, I made up my mind to tell the head of HR the same thing, that I was looking around but that I didn't have an offer. Beyond that, even if I didn't leave, I still needed a backup to manage the HR system, and it should probably be an HR person. Having decided to tell him, I sent him an email when I got back to my desk asking him to let me know when he had a minute to talk.

Then, I get a phone call from the company where I interviewed last week; I wasn't expecting the call until Thursday. Their HR rep asked if I could speak with her for about half a hour tomorrow, so we scheduled the call for 2:30 pm. This has to be the formal offer; I can't think of what else they'd be calling me about.

The I went and talked to my company's HR rep, and let him in on both the official (I'm looking around, no offer yet) and unofficial (I'm likely to have an offer tomorrow, and I'm probably going to take it after negotiations) details; we've established a pretty decent camraderie over the years, so I wasn't worried about him being able to manage the distinction. He told me he'd actually raised the same concerns I'd had about the HR system with my boss's manager when the layoff decision had been originally told to him, but it got brushed under the rug. He was more than happy to escalate the importance with his manager, and agreed to some of the contingencies I'd been thinking about.

So, that was it. For obvious reasons, I've been in a bit of a state all day. It's not so much nerves as... well, I do projections. It's part of why I'm good at what I do: I can see most (if not all) of the potential outcomes and their consequences, and keep layering and factoring until I think I see reasonable or "best" paths through a situation. Today, I had a lot of random factors thrown into the mix, and I think I'm burnt out at the moment.

I just got my copy of World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, and I don't even think I have enough mental cohesion left to anything more than install it.

Monday morning, I put on my facebook "the next seven days will change everything" as my status. Sometimes, being right isn't always fun.