Doubt about self-doubt

Everything's been busy.  Classes this semester have required a fair bit more work.  I'm doing well and haven't hit the mental crash-and-burn point I hit last semester (so, yay for that), but it's still a lot of work.

What I'm noticing more and more, though, is that I have trouble assessing my performance and capabilities.  I mean, I know I know this stuff.  I definitely understand the relationships and the concepts, and I actually like the material.

I've had at least one test in each of my classes now.  After finishing them, my general impression is "high B, low A": usually, I can point to one or two problems that I'm almost positive I missed.  Sometimes we have extra credit problems to make up a little, but not always.

Like, my first math test (Linear Algebra), I was pretty sure I got a mid to high B.  I could pinpoint things that I remembered doing incorrectly.  I got the test back, and it turns out I did most of it right; I ended up getting about 93%, the highest score in the class.

My second math test was similar: there were two problems I was reasonably sure I'd missed, and while I tried to work out the extra credit, I hadn't ever seen the items before and thus wasn't sure of them at all.  I ended up only missing one of the problems, and I more than made up the difference with the extra credit (which it turns out I reasoned my way through pretty well).  Final score, 101% - again, the highest score in the class (tied this time).

For Physics, I walked out convinced I'd blown one problem badly enough to maybe get a low or mid B on the test (there were only 4 problems plus one extra credit, which I thought I got partly right but wasn't sure about).  It turns out I got the test 100% correct and got part of the extra credit, ending up with 118% as my final score (again, the highest grade in the class).

(Physics has a *lot* of extra credit, because the class is a hybrid where we're only on campus for labs.  The rest is online without much actual instruction, so the professor makes up for it with extra credit - most of which is rather difficult or at least time-consuming, so it's not like "free points".)

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad to be doing this well.  But I'd also like to be able to realistically assess how I'm doing as I go.  I think it's a side-effect of the ADHD - or, rather, of living with it untreated for decades.  I don't think the medication is making that much difference over the caffeine I used to self-medicate with, but I spent so long without any treatment (even figuring out the caffeine thing) that I just got used to screwing things up.

I spent most of my time in school being told I was a lazy genius but feeling like someone totally out of whack: I knew the material but couldn't stick with the day-to-day work.  It seems like that self-doubt is still around.  I mean, I know that I don't handle praise well - it's been a thing here at work - but this is a bit more than that.

I've always felt like I knew what I was good at, like I knew my limits and was totally comfortable within them.  Now, I'm finding that I'm not quite as sure of what I'm good at - or, rather, that I'm better at some things that I seem to think I am.  I'm not sure how to fix that.