Diversionary Tactics

I don't do holidays. Which is a little odd to most people, since I do them really well.

Let me explain a bit.

As I've said before, I'm asocial: people annoy me more than they entertain me, and in almost all situations I'd rather be by myself than with someone. The idea of being forced into dinners or long evenings with extended family - most of whom I have absolutely nothing in common with and wouldn't befriend if we met on the street - is bad enough, but tack on the forced cheerfulness and/or religious undertones and, well, it just isn't pretty. When I was young enough to not have a choice in the matter, I'd typically spend an hour max "socializing", then try to hide myself in the kitchen helping cook or whatnot until dinner was actually served; afterwards, I'd slink off to my room and hide until everyone left.

According to society, of course, this is "bad" behavior: everyone loves holidays! So, as a kind of social camouflage, I started getting really good at decorations. I honestly think that things like Christmas lights and garland actually make most places look better - when done tastefully - and figuring out how to decorate and spice up a room may appeal to the gay gene I've got buried in me somewhere. Plus, if you spend enough time/effort making someplace look festive and holiday-ish, people overlook the fact that you seem to skip out on the holiday itself. It's a kind of psychological misdirection I learned years ago.

Nowadays, my mother's adapted to the fact that I really don't "do" social gatherings. If she's having a lot of people over for Thanksgiving, I'm excused and can be somewhere else; Christmas is generally less of a big deal, since my step-dad's birthday is the day after: most of the family comes over for his birthday instead. I'm expected to be around for part of that, but I consider it as much his birthday present as whatever I buy him. For New Years, I typically disappear somewhere.

(Random note: Today is the 151st anniversary of the publishing of “On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life” by one Dr. Charles Darwin, M.A. So, celebrate by using antibacterial soap all day or something.)

However, my mother's gotten used to my eye for decoration, so I'm responsible for doing much of the non-tree decorations for her: it's partly her way to keep me "involved", as it were, but it's also because she (and he) simply can't do a lot of it (contrary to what I insist on telling her, they're getting older). So, starting Friday, I'll be tasked with helping Mom hang around 2500 lights, plus garland, stockings, etc. It's just the way it works, part of the "dues" of being a son.

Anyway, because of my aversion, I won't go into the whole routine of what I'm thankful for - frankly, the idea has always been suspect since, as an atheist, I don't have anyone to be thankful to; I can appreciate things, and be glad they have turned out as they have, but there's no one to thank. I'll simply state that, as ever, I have no regrets about life - and hope that, in the end, everyone reading this will be able to say the same thing, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow or not.