7 down, hundreds to go.

One week in, and the first round of side-effects is pretty much gone.  I still get a little queasy right after meals, but that fades quickly.

Some of the last-minute supplies for the camping trip are coming in.  My shower should arrive today or tomorrow - it's a pump kind, not an overhead hanging one, since I'm not all that sure there's going to be anything to hang it from at the campground.  I'll have to test it out before we go.

I still need to decide if I should get a smaller tent or just take my big one.  It's not supposed to be that cold, though it can be at times, so the extra space isn't as bad as it would be if it were close to freezing.

L's staying at a friend's place and moving into his new room on Saturday.  He says it's already paid for through February and that he's signing the lease tomorrow, so on Sunday I may finally be able to stand down from my internal DEFCON2 status.

He said something else on Saturday night that.. well, I can't say it surprised me, other than he admitted it, but it's making me think.  He got angry that someone dared to have a coat resting on an unused chair at our table (we were on one side of the table with three extra chairs on the other side), and in the ensuing kerfluffle, he said something like, "You and I obviously have different notions of propriety."  I was annoyed and didn't stop myself from responding, "I wouldn't call it propriety.  I'd say you have a stronger sense of entitlement than I do."

L replied, "Yes, I do.  I feel I'm entitled to being treated in a certain way, and if other people don't respect that, it's my job to put them in their place."

That's really problematic to me.  I mean, I've always known that about him: that, in essence, he's fallen from a definite level of privilege but still thinks the world owes him something just because of who he is.  But I was never sure if he realized it, consciously.  I guess he does.

Thinking about it on my walk yesterday, I've never known him to do anything charitable.  He flat-out stated that he just ignores "those people" if he encounters them on the street, but even with friends, I don't think he's ever done anything that didn't in some way benefit himself.  So I have to decide - scratch that, I have decided that I'm not going to waste extra effort on someone who is so ruthlessly self-centered.

I mean, I have a thing where over the years I've basically "adopted" people who I think have something useful or worthwhile to give back to the world if only their financial or other situations were stabilized.  My goal is never to change someone but to help bring out the best in them, to in a sense take away all the things that might be holding them back and say, "Okay, here: you've got the means and opportunity now; what do you want to do?" and hope they pick something that helps others.  In general, it's paid off, and I can count a handful of success stories; there's only been one failure and one "still waiting to see", though at least this last one is independent and far more happy than he used to be.  I don't know that I've said it here, but one of my philosophies has always been that you can't save the world but you can help teach the world to save itself: those are more than just words to me, and I've spent a lot of resources in trying to do it.

When I first met L, and even until today, he talked a lot about improving the world in certain ways and trying to solve various problems.  Thinking back on them, though, all his solutions or methodologies always involved him becoming rich, successful, and/or powerful in the process.  In a sense, the way he wanted to save the world was by ruling it - not for the world's benefit, but for his.

Well, if nothing else, he's to a point where he should be more stable.  I don't know if it'll mean he's more productive or happy - I hope so - but I doubt it'll mean he'll turn around and try to help others.  So, I guess that makes two in the "we'll see" column; who knows, he may surprise me.

Got a couple of hits on Tindr; we'll see if they lead anywhere.  I've also gotten back into working out more (I never really stopped, but it did fall to a pretty low maintenance level), so we'll see how things go.  I also think I'm going to sign up for a massage at a place down the street this week; it's a formal spa but only $50 for an hour.

Out with the old, in with the new.