It's dangerous to go alone

So, I've been in my new place officially over a week.

I like it so far. I'm taking advantage of the weight room daily, and I love having my own place to do my own stuff. Even having a roommate isn't horrible; he's being very good about the "it's my place/I call the shots" attitude I have. Heck, I'm even running around most of the time in the nude and he hasn't batted an eye (but then, I told him about that before he moved in, and we've gone on trips together so he knew my propensities before).

I am looking forward to when he moves out, though, even though I know that's not until January. I'll stick with the original commitment just because I made it and I know he needs the time to get his financial house in order, but this is definitely not going to be a long-term roommate situation. I'm actually hoping he manages to get himself together faster and can therefore move out early.

The consulting company wants me to keep working until October. I said we'll make it through middle of August and see how it's going. Frankly, I'm burning out on it. It's great money, don't get me wrong, but it's a lot of work/hassle when I'd just like to relax. Having two jobs is tiring, no matter how much money you make.

The new place helps with that a bit, though. Since I'm not driving as far, I get more "down time". Also, with the gym downstairs and even room to spread out my bench and free weights, I'm burning through some of the stress in workouts. I don't know that there's a lot of difference yet, and I don't expect there to be, but I certainly -feel- a fair bit better. I'm also eating healthier, as I've got a fridge and my own kitchen. Haven't really started cooking much, but I can get the kinds of things I like - which tend more towards "snacks" than "meals" anyway, things like pita and hummus or small salads or such.

I'm also trying to adapt myself to the whole "if you can't carry it, don't get it" mentality of grocery shopping, since I'm usually walking to/from one of the nearby grocery stores. Which also means more exercise, more fresh air, etc. The weather's also been cooperating, as I've only had the A/C running two days out of 10.

Haven't really unpacked much, but also haven't really furnished the place. I don't want to set anythign up in the living room until I get an area rug, and I think I know what I want but there are logistics issues (such as making sure someone's home to receive it). For the bedroom, most of my clothes are hang-up-able; what's not is in the "sto-away" beneath my mattress, so I don't really need a dresser.

I haven't even bought a desk for my desktop - but that's a different thing. I've actually decided to do something I've wanted to do for a while: build a kind of lounge chair/console for my home computer. The chair gets delivered tomorrow; its frame is 2" steel pipe, so I can mount things to it pretty easily. I have a rough idea of where I want to go with it, but I'll know more when it arrives.

Anyway, that's the drive-by for the day. Maybe interesting things will start happening and I'll have something to post about.

A dreamer who slumbers

(This poem means a lot to me; for a variety of reasons, it's resonating especially well lately. Enjoy.)

Ode - Arthur O'Shaughnessy

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.


With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample a kingdom down.


We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself in our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.


A breath of our inspiration
Is the life of each generation;
A wondrous thing of our dreaming
Unearthly, impossible seeming—
The soldier, the king, and the peasant
Are working together in one,
Till our dream shall become their present,
And their work in the world be done.


They had no vision amazing
Of the goodly house they are raising;
They had no divine foreshowing
Of the land to which they are going:
But on one man's soul it hath broken,
A light that doth not depart;
And his look, or a word he hath spoken,
Wrought flame in another man's heart.


And therefore to-day is thrilling
With a past day's late fulfilling;
And the multitudes are enlisted
In the faith that their fathers resisted,
And, scorning the dream of to-morrow,
Are bringing to pass, as they may,
In the world, for its joy or its sorrow,
The dream that was scorned yesterday.


But we, with our dreaming and singing,
Ceaseless and sorrowless we!
The glory about us clinging
Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing:
O men! it must ever be
That we dwell, in our dreaming and singing,
A little apart from ye.


For we are afar with the dawning
And the suns that are not yet high,
And out of the infinite morning
Intrepid you hear us cry—
How, spite of your human scorning,
Once more God's future draws nigh,
And already goes forth the warning
That ye of the past must die.


Great hail! we cry to the comers
From the dazzling unknown shore;
Bring us hither your sun and your summers;
And renew our world as of yore;
You shall teach us your song's new numbers,
And things that we dreamed not before:
Yea, in spite of a dreamer who slumbers,
And a singer who sings no more.

If I won the lottery, I don't think I'd move to Maui.

Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I just think that a big part of what I enjoy is being on vacation here, not just being here. If I lived here, had the normal responsibilities, etc., I don't think it'd be the same.

In fact, I think the perfect life for me would be a "permanent vacation": traveling constantly, never staying somewhere more than a month or two, maybe having an apartment in L.A. to come back to once in a while. Something worth considering as I'm a week away from moving. Obviously I'm not in a position to afford such a lifestyle, but at least I know what to aim for.

Something else to think about - that really isn't the kind of lifestyle you can live when you're in a relationship.

Sometimes the carrot is the stick

Dammit dammit dammit.

Why do I always end up in this situation?

2 hot guys flirting with me most of the day. They both want me to hook up with them. Great.

Problem 1: they just got married. Literally, yesterday. Even that isn't so much an issue, since they're both consenting.

Problem 2: I have work I have to do at 4 local time; if I hook up with them, there's no way in hell I'm making my conference call. I also have a tour at 8 I have to be ready for, an hour away.

Problem 3: they're probably leaving tomorrow while I'm on my tour. They might stay an extra night. They haven't decided yet.

Fuck. Sometimes being responsible sucks.

Cardboard boxes

Wow, been a while. Thought I'd published something since the beginning of June.

So, I've started packing - more for the move than the vacation. Packing for a vacation in Hawaii actually requires more planning from the techical side than from the textile side: throw a half-dozen bathing suits, a pair of flipflops, and a bunch of sunscreen in a suitcase and that's that. On the other hand, I'm taking two laptops, two cameras, 5 lenses, a tripod, a monopod, associated chargers and such... there's probably something very wrong about that, but hey, it's my vacation.

But yeah, I've started packing for the move. I managed to fit almost all of my normal-sized paperbacks in a single box; it's a damned heavy box, mind you, but it's one box. I also got all my music CD cases in another. I'm going to try to get a box or two packed every night this week before I fly out on Saturday (... it still hasn't sunk in that I'm flying out on Saturday...), though I can't really pack up clothes and such until I get back.

We'll see how it all goes. I'm just starting to feel the anticipation, but I'm also under a lot of pressure at work and with the consulting job, so I don't have a lot of time to think about it. It'll probably all hit me while I'm relaxing in the hot tub.

Connect around their walls

Alright, finally got the security issues from the office sorted out; it kept blocking my login, so I could post or comment as "me" on anything.

Anyway, updates on things:

I'm going back to Maui for my birthday. I may have said that. Everything's planned out; I'm taking it easy this year, only one "trip" planned and that's a private tour so should be fun. I swear I'm going to make myself get to the top of Haleakala this time, and I'm even going to try to go up in the middle of the night to get starfield shots (assuming the weather's decent and the moon cooperates). It's hard to believe I'm going to be there in 3 weeks (from tomorrow).

Apartment is still in pending status waiting for the existing tenants to move out. That should be done in a week or so. I'm trying to plan out things like internet service, but I'm not entirely sure what all the options are. There are sites you can check for availability, but I don't entirely trust them.

The consulting job is a bit of a nightmare right now, as that's supposed to be going live the Monday I'm in Maui. It'll probably be ready by then, but we'll be cutting it a little close. However, they're driving me crazy with conference calls. I've been on calls literally every morning this week - and even with it only being a 4-day week, that's sill 7 hours of conference calls. That's ridiculous. I'm burning into "rollover minutes" on my cell plan (luckily I have thousands, so it's not costing me anything).

I'm sure things here will get far more interesting after I move in (36 days, not that I'm counting).

The Final Frontier

Space... in the "floor" sense.

So, I'm in the final stages of leasing. I've been approved, they've verified my information, etc. I'm waiting for a copy of my renter's insurance to prove my liability coverage; I'll likely have that this afternoon or tomorrow morning. Then, I sign the lease.

It's a decent place. Not perfect, but I never expected perfect. Still, it covers all the bases, and it's in a pretty nice building: salt water pool, rec room with pool table and foosball, weight room, dry sauna, laundry facilities on every floor (just outside the apartment, actually). I'll be on the top floor in an inside corner with a small balcony. It's also about half a mile from Old Town Pasadena, which is nice.

Speaking of, it's got a walk score of 85, which is really what I was most looking for. Not only are there four grocery stores (Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Gelson's, and Vons) within a half-mile, it's a couple blocks from the metro station going downtown or to work, and only 10 miles from the office if I decide I want to bike.

That's a huge thing for me: I'd like to be able to drive only when I want to head to LA or something. On a day-to-day basis, I can walk or bike everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love driving and I love my car. This isn't even really an environmentally-conscious thing (though that's a nice bonus). Mostly, I just want to be more centrally located in an urban environment. We'll see if the reality lives up to the expectations.

I also wouldn't be moving in until July 9th, but that's not a huge issue. I'll be getting back from my birthday vacation on the 4th, so that's pretty good timing.

Kind of funny timing, actually. Five years ago, I bought myself a car for my birthday. This year, I'm getting an apartment. Nothing like thinking big, eh?

Assume the position

So, tomorrow's the rapture. I've heard accounts that it's going to take place at 6 p.m. local time. Bummer; I'll be in the middle of Pirates then. Not that I necessarily expect to go to heaven. If the fundies are right about God, then I wouldn't want to go - the old "laugh with the sinners" thing.

Of course, the best thing would be if all the fundamentalists got pulled up to their place of perfection and just left the rest of us the hell alone.

I woke up this morning to some kind of rash under my eye. The only thing I can think of is that I was looking at this awesome hibiscus plant at an apartment complex last night; maybe I got some pollen or something on me. However, I played with hibiscus in Maui and never had an issue.

Regardless, I'm staying home a bit to see if it goes away; the last thing I need is to have this get worse and not be able to drive or such.

Always something new.

Slow-motion capture

Bah, been too long.

Well, not really. Nothing new or interesting to report. I'm still apartment-hunting. The funds I'd been waiting for didn't come in until late April, so that delayed things a bit. Now it's a matter of finding the right place at the right price; it's not impossible, and I have a few leads, but it's a slow process.

Beyond that, it's been same-old same-old. The consulting job I've probably mentioned has ramped up a fair bit in intensity; that's the main reason I haven't been blogging: I've just been too busy with that. It's not interesting work, and unfortunately it's getting to be downright annoying as over and over things fail to happen when they should. All the timing pressure eventually gets dumped on my shoulders, but I'm a big enough boy to dump it right back.

Since I still haven't moved out, my moratorium on spending money is still in effect. As such, I haven't booked anything for my birthday yet. This may mean limited options when I do get around to it, but, well, I made this rule for a reason... blowing it now would be counter-productive.

I'll try to get back into posting regularly. Hope folks are still out there.

Random stimulation

So, it's late, it's been a long weekend (I worked a decent portion of it), and I'm tired. But, I'm also hyper.

I'm what is clinically called "ADHD"; I don't necessarily think of it as a "disorder", but that's what it's called. Anyway, most people don't generally notice because I'm pretty much *always* sipping a soda (usually zero-cal) and that takes the "edge" off; see, stimulants actually act contrary to how you'd expect in many people with ADHD, and in my case, they actually help me focus. It has to do with activation thresholds and such.

When I'm at home, I tend to drink water or ginger ale, neither of which has caffeine. No caffeine for a day and I start to get hyper/distractable. Of course, no caffeine for a week and the ASD-type symptoms start coming out; I don't get grumpy, per se, at least not after the first few days. I do, however, get far less social (hard to believe, I know) and far more precise.

One time I got to that stage when a few years ago when I was kicking off my first big diet: I didn't drink anything but water or juices for a month. I felt great and got a lot done, but I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night and my coworkers later told me they wanted to kill me. Apparently, in my "normal" state, my productivity skyrockets and my empathy drops below zero.

So anyway, on Sundays, by the end of the day, I'm usually starting to feel it. Sometimes, it's not so bad. Sometimes it's really bad. Tonight, it's moderate. To counteract it enough to get to bed, I'm sipping a cup of Kona coffee. Which is very weird to most people - I'm drinking a cup of coffee to help me sleep rather than keep me awake. My mom's the same way, though.

Just a random note for the night. Hope everyone had a good weekend, and has a good week.